Relationship Needs Assessment Results

Interdependence Interdependence refers to how much you need dependency or a "couple identity" with your partner. Your answer pattens suggest that you tend not to become overly dependent on a romantic partner. People scoring like you are comfortable being singled out for praise and rewards, and their personal identity and independence from others is important to them. Therefore, it seems you need a reasonable level of independence in a relationship. This does not mean that you do not desire to be close with a partner. Indeed, when you feel close to someone, this person often becomes an important part of who you are on the inside and you probably like showing off your "couplehood" in public. However, you do not necessarily need to be constantly "joined at the hip" in order to feel connected and secure in a relationship. Bottom line: you need someone who reciprocates a strong feeling of attachment to a partner but who also respects and copes well with the fact that you benefit from a reasonable level of physical and psychological space at times.Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "interdependency" needs with potential partners: "Are you the type of person who feels lonely easily? Please explain and share some past experiences of how you coped well or did not cope well" "When it comes to the time a couple spends together, is quality more important than quantity in your opinion?" "When you've been away from a partner for any length of time, how have you filled that time and found personal fulfillment?"

Intimacy Intimacy refers to the how much you need emotional closeness with your partner. You are very comfortable with being intimate and vulnerable with a partner. However, your desire for emotional closeness and security puts you at some risk for disclosing too much, too soon when a relationship is newly developing. People like you have big hearts and an impressive openness to your partner. That openness includes lessons learned from your past experiences and relationships, extending trust, believing your partner returns your feelings and devotion and being generally comfortable with surrendering yourself to a partner. In fact, you probably feel very uncomfortable - and even guilty - if there were any secrets between you and your partner. Likewise, you regard your lover as your best friend and your foremost confidant. There is typically no hesitation discussing current problems or concerns with this person. It also seems that you have realistic expectations for a committed relationship. You are willing to act on the belief that your partner's feelings are equally as strong as yours. Therefore, you are probably not deterred in taking the risks associated with being vulnerable on all levels. Bottom line: you need someone who believes and acts on the belief that the intimacy of a relationship is sacred.Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "intimacy" needs with potential partners: "Under what circumstances do you think it is okay for someone to discuss details of his/her relationship with family or friends?" "What type of issues would you talk to your friends or family about before sharing with your partner?" "Do you think couples should have access to each other's bank accounts, email accounts, calendars and basically all personal information?"

Self-efficacy Self-Efficacy refers to your self-image, stability of mood and level of motivation. You have good levels of self-esteem, sense of self and a sense of accomplishment. It seems you are acutely aware - but accepting - of your strengths and weaknesses. Likewise, you likely feel that people who are important in your life understand you. But people in your scoring range tend to be comfortable not giving in to peer, family and other social pressures. Family is indeed important to you, but their expectations do not strongly influence your life. Instead, people who score like you tend to have their own well-defined ambitions and goals - and may even set specific benchmarks to monitor the progress made toward achievements. You probably have a strong sense of control over your life and are decisive in managing it. You are also probably very influential and persuasive with others. In fact, your family, friends and acquaintances may often come to you for ideas of guidance across a range of issues. Bottom line: you need a partner who has a good degree of energy, enthusiasm and self-efficacy like you, as opposed to a partner who needs constant nurturance and reassurance to feel empowered and valued as person.Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "self-efficacy" needs with potential partners: "Do your positive qualities outweigh your faults? Why or why not?" "Do you ever feel guilty when you do not meet the expectations of your family or friends? Explain" "Are you the type of person who likes to stand out in a crowd or go totally unnoticed?"

Relationship readiness Relationship Readiness refers to how prepared you are emotionally, psychologically and pragmatically for a committed relationship. In some ways, you may not be fully ready for a committed relationship. You seem to feel a fair degree of comfort and grounding in your life right now. In fact, most people in this range have a clear vision and a sense of purpose for their life. They also feel in control, but sometimes that sense of control can be fleeting or a false sense of security. For example, it is often the case that people in this scoring range need to address unresolved issues that can interfere with them having the life and relationship they want. These could be financial or legal issues or even physical, emotional or health issues. It may also be the case that you are seeking a relationship primarily to fill a void in your life or to gain a feeling of acceptance and belonging that was weakened or lost due to other relationships that ended or disappointed you. Bottom line: you need someone who will be patient and supportive as you figure out your needs rather than who will rush the relationship prematurely.Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "relationship readiness" needs with potential partners: "Responding candidly, what are your strengths and weaknesses as a friend?" "What are the most important responsibilities you have to a romantic partner?" "Do you feel offended or rejected when a partner asks for time, space or privacy to take care of some personal business?"

Communication Communication refers to your approach to interpersonal interactions and level of emotional intelligence. Effective communicators have strong emotional intelligence, and you seem to have an excellent level of emotional intelligence. It is expected that you show considerable tolerance of ambiguity and emotional expression. You have the capacity for being extremely sensitive to other's feelings and to their body language. Those who know you well would probably describe you as patient and eager to listen to others. People in this scoring range are also not afraid of making or admitting to mistakes. They consistently and bravely show vulnerability to others. In fact, they are keenly aware how their behavior impacts others. You can communicate your needs and feelings honestly when someone engages you directly, but you may not always take the initiative to be assertive with others. In this sense, it is likely that you seek to understand others, rather than seek for others to understand you. Bottom line: you need someone who will not put up emotional barriers when you seek to understand his/her thoughts and feelings, but rather will communicate with you intimately and candidly.Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "communication" needs with potential partners: "Do you ever feel afraid that once a romantic partner gets to know you really well, that s/he will like who you really are or will think less of you?" "Do you find it difficult to trust a romantic partner completely? Explain" "Would you feel uncomfortable telling your partner about things in the past of which you felt ashamed?"

Conflict resolution Conflict Resolution refers to your stress management and problem solving skills. Effective conflict resolution has nine general elements: View Conflict as Positive; Address Conflict in the Proper Atmosphere; Clarify Perceptions; Note Needs, not wants; Draw on the Power of a Positive Partnership; Focus on the Future, then learn from the past; Identify Options for Mutual Gain; Develop 'Doables' or stepping stones to action; and Make Mutually-Beneficial Agreements. Your score indicates that you are generally strong across all of these basic elements. This suggests that you are very flexible and action-oriented when addressing problems, yet not so eager to find resolution that you settle for quick, temporary agreements. Settling on a temporary agreement is often a way of avoiding conflict, and it can lead to needs not being met. You do not seem to avoid conflict; instead you appear to evaluate the possible solutions and then actively engage your partner to work on a positive outcome that is best for the relationship. In fact, a defining characteristic of people in this scoring range is the capacity to relinquish their control and pride for the greater good and growth of the relationship. Bottom line: you need a partner who is patient, a "big picture thinker" and can relinquish control and pride to make the best decisions for the good and growth of the relationship.Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "conflict resolution" needs with potential partners: "In your past relationships, have you felt responsible for your partner's well being? Explain" "Is it the case that you can not be happy unless you place your partner's happiness before your own?" "What sort of things or situations would you not endure for the sake of your partner or relationship?"

Sexuality Sexuality refers to your needs (frequency, boundaries, expressions) related to physical intimacy. Scientific models of love and attachment always include physical chemistry and sexuality. It is a crucial topic for any couple to address, because it involves issues of control and vulnerability. People at your scoring level have a firm sense of their sexual orientation, preferred sexual activities and comfort level. You like sex that is romantic, adventurous and fun, but for you sex is not a casual event. Sex has great importance in your relationship, and it is reserved for someone you love. You may think your sexual preferences would be viewed as conservative by others, but you are no prude. You are confident in your own sexual ability and are open to try various activities. In fact, you probably like to experiment actively. A defining characteristic of people in this scoring range is their willingness to be vulnerable and relinquish control in the bedroom to their partners. In other words, you are not sexually selfish - you like to focus on pleasing your partner and submitting to his/her desires. Bottom line: you need someone who regards sex as a meaningful bond between people in love and who appreciates being the center of attention in the bedroom.Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "sexual" needs with potential partners: "Would you eagerly talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies?" "Is it like you to direct your partner what to do in bed so s/he knows best how to please you?" "In your mind, is there any difference between 'having sex' and 'making love'?"

Attitudes toward love Attitudes Toward Love refers to your level of needs for romantic love and friendship love. There are two main types of love - Romantic Love and Companionate Love. Romantic Love is passionate, emotional and intense, whereas Companionate Love is a deep, affectionate attachment. People feel these two types of loves to different degrees in a relationship, and the levels of each can fluctuate over time. You scored as someone who may be best described as "a realist with a touch of hopeless romantic." This means that you do value Romantic Love, but for you a relationship must have a strong dose of Companionate Love. Thus, people in this scoring range typically believe that differences can be overcome and lasting love can be sustained if the couple does the hard of work of consistently showing mutual understanding and accommodation. In this sense, it is likely that you believe soul mates are made, not born. Bottom line: you need someone who believes that the best kind of love grows out of a strong friendship.Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "love attitude" needs with potential partners: "Do you believe that the best kind of love grows out of strong friendship?" "In your opinion, how can a couple overcome differences on issues like religion, ethnicity, politics or social class?" "When it comes to a romantic partner, how would define someone who is unusually well adjusted?"

Preferred Expressions of Affection

Preferred Expressions of Affection refers to your likes and dislikes for different ways a partner can express love and devotion. There are many ways in which people show affection to their loved ones: physical touch, doing favors, spending time together, giving gifts or communicating love through words. Statistically, you gave higher weighted ratings to the gift of Time. Bottom line: You need someone who can express affection and show you are a priority by spending time with you - such as simply talking and cuddling at home, taking leisurely strolls outside or extended road trips.Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "affection" needs with potential partners: "Have you ever taken off work early to spend some special with your partner or a loved one?" "Have past partners consistently complained that you would frequently call to say you were running late for a date?" "How much alone time during the week do you need with a partner to feel satisfied?"

Out of the various modes of expressing affection, Gifts received lower weighted ratings from you. Bottom line: This does not mean that you neither like nor need Gifts. Rather, it suggests that you need someone who can show affection in ways other than just giving you tangible surprises - such as gifts s/he makes, souvenirs purchased on business trips or expensive presents that commemorate special occasions.Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "affection" needs with potential partners: "Is it more like you to surprise a partner with single, extravagant gifts or shower the person with little gifts or surprises here and there?" "Is it difficult for you to come up with personalized gift ideas for loved ones?" "Do you think giving gifts is really just an attempt to buy someone's affection?"

About This test was created by the world's foremost team of academic psychologists who specialize in personality testing, To read more about our assessment check out our FAQ page.